As I was filling out the new client form, I came across this question. Briefly explain why you are seeking counseling. I ran through a list of possible answers in my head. I need to become a less angry mom. I get depressed from time to time. I need healing from past wounds. But more than anything I realized that I want to become whole. I want the cracks from my brokenness to be healed, and I need someone to help me through it- someone who can recognize my blindspots, who can see through the smiles, and who will walk alongside me without judgment.
I held the finished form in my sweaty hands while I waited to get called in. Even though I had encouraged others to seek counseling before, I felt anxious and unsure that I should be there. I felt like a crazy person, a weak person who couldn’t figure things out on her own. I read my answers on the form again and reminded myself that I was there for wholeness and healing and that no matter how painful or awkward it might be, it’d be worth it in the end.
“Grace? You can come through…”
It’s been a month since I walked through to the back, sat on my counselor’s couch, and started baring my soul to her. I constantly feel on the brink of a breakthrough or a breakdown or both, but it has been so, so good. The cracks of my brokenness are being further exposed to the truth, and wholeness is beginning to take place.